There's a nice breeze coming into my window right now. I think I shall shut the window, because my arms are getting goosebumps. Why do they call them that? Is it because goose skin is bumpy? As I was contemplating that, I shut the window. Guess what was right outside my window? No, not a creepy creeper face, but a lamp. Apparently my awesome neighbors threw an awesome "let's throw lamps out the window" party this weekend. Too bad I was in B-town (Bangor) this weekend watching Wisconsin lose to a bunch of JOB pussies and skiing on mud lakes, and I missed it. Who knew that mud skiing would be way more fun than water skiing? much less snow skiing. Anyway, apparently the S Brunswick block goes loco when I leave for B-town. My awesome neighbors also kicked my door in, and security had to call an emergency carpenter at midnight to fix it so no creepy creepers would come in and steal my nutella or my slippers.
First question: since when have carpenters been oncall? I mean really, how often do doors need to be fixed or cradles built or tables enlarged at random hours of the night. I feel real bad for that dude. He probs had no idea what he was signing up for when he chose to be an "emergency carpenter." He probs thought, "hey, maybe being an emergency carpenter means that in times of turmoil, like being on a plane that has faulty landing gear, I have to quick build some wheely apparatus to land the plane safe and sound OR when Big Papi breaks a bat in the middle of a big game, I have to quick make him a new bat." Yeah not so much. Dude, you have to fix things that awesome college neighbors break in their belligerent drunkness--like doors. LAME.
Second question: who knew that these bamf doors could be kicked in by awesome drunken neighbors? Really, these are like vault doors. Heavy and just really badass. But apparently not so much. I mean, when Wilson, my mono infested friend, threatened to infect me after kicking in my door and spitting on my toothbrush, I laughed. He probs weighs less than I do, and there is no way in hell he could kick in my bamf door that protects me at all times. Well, let's just say my awesome neighbors proved me wrong. If I get mono, I will never talk to Wilson again. I'm going to go throw my toothbrush out now. I've had this toothbrush for 3 months anyway, and apparently I'm suppose to throw out my toothbrush out after 3 months, according to Grace. Who knew? This is just a day of knowledge!
Today is Emma's birthday. I feel like everyone who reads this blog knows lemma, so I can say that. Happy birthday lemma. Year 19 of life is pretty lame, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it anyway. Looking back on my 19th year of life, I think I can say I accomplished some relatively cool things--like getting my door kicked in or becoming Lemma's friend. I also realized that ducktape is a great way to patch pants, even if it is red. This morning I found out that trying to cut up waterbottles usually ends up with broken scissors. Good thing I hid them under a stack of papers, so Chantal will never know, and I'll just buy her a new pair of shitty pink scissors. For realz, what kind of scissors cant cut up plastic? Gosh... Let's get real scissor makers. Maybe I should have an emergency carpenter come in and fix that shit.
So right now I should be reading or working on a lab report about clams and lobsters or putting away my laundry from last week. Whatever. Responsibility is way overrated. This post has been all words and no pictures, and everyone likes pictures way more than words, so I will leave you with this:

BEST PICTURE EVER. Q: What the balls is on my head? A: probs a pink ferret
PS I used "probs" 4 times in this post (5 including this one). Don't be annoyed. I knew it was happening.