Saturday, October 10, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
OMG nightmare
Why do odwalla's have so many calories in them? I mean, if I want a smoothie-like drink that is healthy and isn't actually a smoothie, then there had better be some lacking in the calorie department to make up for imposterism. Talk about annoying.
What is also annoying is the week before fall break. And by annoying I mean torture, like jabbing bamboo in your fingernail beds and twisting it over and over and over while simultaneously shining super bright lights in both your eyes kind of torture. My stress level is skyrocketing and it's starting to really negatively affect my sleeping patterns, aka I'm having horrible nightmares. Last night, I had this dream where my friend Erin and I were staying at my camp alone. We were both in my twin bed discussing how much boys suck and how we are going to find wonderful, charming young men when we go abroad. Sometime during this discussion, I fall out of my bed, because it is after all not really suited for two people (unless the two people are me and Michelle. We totally own that twinage). Well, once I hit the floor, I noticed an arm sticking out from under my bed. Instead of having a complete freak out like I would in real life, I became all concerned. I drug out the large, 20ish year old guy that looks like this ginger that I see around campus, and I kept asking him "omg are you ok?" He just looked at me all dazed and confused and didn't say anything, but I kept asking if he was ok. Then as this one sided discussion continued, I looked over on the other side of my bed (which is nonexistent in real life btdubz...there's a wall there) and I saw a cloaked figure sitting in a chair with two green glowing eyes peering out from under the hood. Clearly the scary figure planted this dazed young man under my bed so he could stealthily position himself on the chair without me noticing...even though Erin would probably notice...oh well. Anyway, the cloaked figure stood up and took his hood off, revealing his big-bad-wolf self. Doesn't sound scary, but oh it is. It really is. He then took this young man's head and ripped it off with his teeth. Of course, he was of larger stature so the head didn't come off right away: there was a slow, gradual breaking of skin and veins and esophagus and trachea. Graphic, I know, but after all the autopsies this summer, I obvs wasn't that fazed. After discarding the body on my floor, the wolf was going to eat us next, after spitting out a tooth that came out after the head ripping. I was excited because I assumed he wouldn't eat us after loosing a tooth, I mean that hurts like a mofo, but no, he was still going to eat us. I think I asked him that too...So Erin took an empty glass handle--where it came from? I don't know--and smashed out the rest of his teeth. Of course that didn't stop him, he was still coming after us to rip our heads up too! So I took handle #2 and bashed out his head...except for his mouth, because his broken toothed mouth was still coming after us to eat us. At this point I figured I had time to run to the kitchen to grab a knife and stab him in the heart, assuming that this wasn't one of those special dream monsters that doesn't die normal deaths. Then I woke up in a freak out moment, like I always do after nightmares, realized it wasn't real, then also realized that as soon as I went back to bed I'd just go back to Mr. Wolf. Annoyed, I wiped my face on my pillow, almost dislodging my nose-ring, which hurt like a mofo--like losing a tooth then eating humans. So I decided to just go back to bed. This time I dreamed about pirate things. Not too shabby I'd say. Pirates are sweet.
What is also annoying is the week before fall break. And by annoying I mean torture, like jabbing bamboo in your fingernail beds and twisting it over and over and over while simultaneously shining super bright lights in both your eyes kind of torture. My stress level is skyrocketing and it's starting to really negatively affect my sleeping patterns, aka I'm having horrible nightmares. Last night, I had this dream where my friend Erin and I were staying at my camp alone. We were both in my twin bed discussing how much boys suck and how we are going to find wonderful, charming young men when we go abroad. Sometime during this discussion, I fall out of my bed, because it is after all not really suited for two people (unless the two people are me and Michelle. We totally own that twinage). Well, once I hit the floor, I noticed an arm sticking out from under my bed. Instead of having a complete freak out like I would in real life, I became all concerned. I drug out the large, 20ish year old guy that looks like this ginger that I see around campus, and I kept asking him "omg are you ok?" He just looked at me all dazed and confused and didn't say anything, but I kept asking if he was ok. Then as this one sided discussion continued, I looked over on the other side of my bed (which is nonexistent in real life btdubz...there's a wall there) and I saw a cloaked figure sitting in a chair with two green glowing eyes peering out from under the hood. Clearly the scary figure planted this dazed young man under my bed so he could stealthily position himself on the chair without me noticing...even though Erin would probably notice...oh well. Anyway, the cloaked figure stood up and took his hood off, revealing his big-bad-wolf self. Doesn't sound scary, but oh it is. It really is. He then took this young man's head and ripped it off with his teeth. Of course, he was of larger stature so the head didn't come off right away: there was a slow, gradual breaking of skin and veins and esophagus and trachea. Graphic, I know, but after all the autopsies this summer, I obvs wasn't that fazed. After discarding the body on my floor, the wolf was going to eat us next, after spitting out a tooth that came out after the head ripping. I was excited because I assumed he wouldn't eat us after loosing a tooth, I mean that hurts like a mofo, but no, he was still going to eat us. I think I asked him that too...So Erin took an empty glass handle--where it came from? I don't know--and smashed out the rest of his teeth. Of course that didn't stop him, he was still coming after us to rip our heads up too! So I took handle #2 and bashed out his head...except for his mouth, because his broken toothed mouth was still coming after us to eat us. At this point I figured I had time to run to the kitchen to grab a knife and stab him in the heart, assuming that this wasn't one of those special dream monsters that doesn't die normal deaths. Then I woke up in a freak out moment, like I always do after nightmares, realized it wasn't real, then also realized that as soon as I went back to bed I'd just go back to Mr. Wolf. Annoyed, I wiped my face on my pillow, almost dislodging my nose-ring, which hurt like a mofo--like losing a tooth then eating humans. So I decided to just go back to bed. This time I dreamed about pirate things. Not too shabby I'd say. Pirates are sweet.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Infiltration!
The swine got me. Worse timing ever. I have to miss the best party of the year--80s of course! which is happening tonight AND I had to miss Michelle's birthday party last night. Instead I lay in my bed 24/7, and I'm only allowed to leave to use the bathroom. Except now that Sam's gone for a bit, I could sneak downstairs and get food. Perhaps... Pretty boring I must say. I can only hang out with my dogs, which is pretty awesome actually. Them, along with a gallon of grapefruit juice, a thermometer, and a roll of toilet paper are my best friends for the next 3-5 days. And since I'm too disfunctional to work/read/do anything mildly mentally straining, all I do is sleep and watch disney movies on youtube. Writing this blog is actually taking a lot of energy and pain, but I'm running out of things to do. So I'm really sorry if this post is incohesive or just wrong, but I must communicate with the outside world somehow. It's pretty sad actually, I mean, if I need to talk to Sam who is the only other person in the house, I either have to text him or call him even if he's in the next room or wait for him to yell at me through the door about taking all the advil. Yeah, sad. I feel like a leper.
Friday, September 25, 2009
GLITTER BONANZA OF JOY!!
MAREN IS COMING! MAREN IS COMING! so the glitter bonanza of joy is tonight, and i'm kindof worried. this party could go either one of two ways. No one could come, and it would be a smattering of awkward people not knowing what to do with themselves and being bored. ORRR it could go the opposite way and there could be 239847648 people, 239847640 of which i dont know. with that situation, there will be no possible way to have my RA NOT know that we're having a party, and if that happens, the RA will no doubt come and that would be awwwwful because the majority of these people (including me...) will be underage. and if that shit happens, which i just have a feeling it will, it goes on your permanent record and Bridget, the girl getting us the stuff, will be taken to court for supplying to minors. which would be HORRIBLE because bridget is the sweetest girl i have ever met in my life. so hopefully dan, the RA, will be out and about and no one will notice. also, i'm worried because there are no activities. no beer pong or anything,... people will be so bored!!!! but i cant think of anything that we could do! i could put on a movie i guess... but it might be too loud to watch it. playing cards? oh god i'm worried. i've never hosted a college party before and for some reason i'm treating it like a martha stewart thing. i cleaned all this morning, and i've had my outfit ready for a week. I'M SUCH A DORRRK!!!! also, we dont have a DD on hand, which is bad because i dont want anyone going home driving drunk, and there is no room for EVERYONE to stay the night!!! ohhhhhh i'm worried.
aside from this, i had a sleep study last night to see why i sleep so much. it suuuuucked. they put twenty million wires all over me and all over my head and TWO not one but TWOOO oxygen things up my nose, and it was awful. i couldnt go to the bathroom without asking some guy that was outside my room, and then i had to lug around 29837 pounds of equipment attached to my body. then he woke me up at 6, which for me is like the middle of the night. also, the glue that they used on my head to keep the wires on smelled HORRIFIC! so i went back to the apartment and took a shower. i probably used half the bottle of shampoo and all that did was dry the glue up even more and make it chip a little so that it looks like i have crazy bad dandruff. fantastic. it still smells too. and all they found was that my carbon dioxide levels were elevated. useless.
BUT the FANTASTICCCC news is that MAREN IS COMING!!!!!!! now we just have to pray that she isnt carrying the swine flu. she says she isnt sick, but her roommates are, so she could just be a carrier and make EVERYONE SICKKK!!! ohhh maren.
eff i'm hungry. okay baiiii.
aside from this, i had a sleep study last night to see why i sleep so much. it suuuuucked. they put twenty million wires all over me and all over my head and TWO not one but TWOOO oxygen things up my nose, and it was awful. i couldnt go to the bathroom without asking some guy that was outside my room, and then i had to lug around 29837 pounds of equipment attached to my body. then he woke me up at 6, which for me is like the middle of the night. also, the glue that they used on my head to keep the wires on smelled HORRIFIC! so i went back to the apartment and took a shower. i probably used half the bottle of shampoo and all that did was dry the glue up even more and make it chip a little so that it looks like i have crazy bad dandruff. fantastic. it still smells too. and all they found was that my carbon dioxide levels were elevated. useless.
BUT the FANTASTICCCC news is that MAREN IS COMING!!!!!!! now we just have to pray that she isnt carrying the swine flu. she says she isnt sick, but her roommates are, so she could just be a carrier and make EVERYONE SICKKK!!! ohhh maren.
eff i'm hungry. okay baiiii.
Monday, September 21, 2009
NEWS REPORT: TAYLOR SWIFT ON REPEAT
Poor Taylor, getting electronic devices ripped out of her hands and whatnot. Honestly Kanye, I'll still marry you, but you need to work on your people skillz.
What a VMAs we had this year. Unfortunately, my roommates and I couldn't figure out how to hook up our cable wire, so I missed all of it. Fortunately, people spend their whole lives on youtube, and this historical douchebag moment was online 2 minutes after it happened, maybe less. Didn't miss a beat, except I didn't catch Lady Gaga's earth-shattering outfit until Michelle posted it. Ballin. Pretty much everyone classy at Bowdoin hates Lady Gaga. Guess I'm not a classy gal. There is, however, the select few of us that attended a party entitled "HOUS OF GAGA CELEBRATION!" There were some pretty good gaga costumes, nothing too stellar, especially on my part, but I'd like to think I rocked it like Miss Gaga would (or should I say miss/mister gaga?). If I make the trek up north this weekend, I'll be sure to go all out--just let me make a wreath out of my own hair and glitter glue, and I'm all set.
Other news-worthy news that could put a damper on this weekend's escapade: SWINE FLU IS TAKING OVER BOWDOIN. Apparently we were featured in the Boston Globe for our campus-wide epidemic. What a great reputation! Omg Bowdoin is such a great school--a wonderful place where the entire student body swaps fluids and forgets to cover their coughs on a regular basis. Or better yet: come get a great education AND get quarantined for a sometimes fatal illness named after an animal that many cultures won't eat. Sounds awesome to me. Personally, I want to get quarantined. I would love nothing more than to be forced to stay in a room by myself all day, where all I'm allowed to do is sleep, watch movies, wear a mask, and never leave (at least until I'm no longer hot. Guess I'll never be leaving. chaching). I also heard that they are feeding quarantine kids lobster dinners. I don't even like lobster, but I would fully soak in the sympathy by contemplating eating it for five minutes or so. I could give it to one of my other swine flu friends as a token of my appreciation for a fellow mask-wearing piggy buddy. I think that's what they should call the quarantine kids now: piggy buddies. I can't wait to be a piggy buddy, as long as it's not this weekend or 3 weekends from now. Perhaps I will pencil swine flu in for the first weekend in november? Then I'll get out of my orchestra dress rehearsal. Perfect. Well I'll go get on that; these things require a bit of strategy you know. Peace
PROCRASTINATE
watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xj8RrIpiiQ
then watch (listen to) this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buAeYUBuieY
What a VMAs we had this year. Unfortunately, my roommates and I couldn't figure out how to hook up our cable wire, so I missed all of it. Fortunately, people spend their whole lives on youtube, and this historical douchebag moment was online 2 minutes after it happened, maybe less. Didn't miss a beat, except I didn't catch Lady Gaga's earth-shattering outfit until Michelle posted it. Ballin. Pretty much everyone classy at Bowdoin hates Lady Gaga. Guess I'm not a classy gal. There is, however, the select few of us that attended a party entitled "HOUS OF GAGA CELEBRATION!" There were some pretty good gaga costumes, nothing too stellar, especially on my part, but I'd like to think I rocked it like Miss Gaga would (or should I say miss/mister gaga?). If I make the trek up north this weekend, I'll be sure to go all out--just let me make a wreath out of my own hair and glitter glue, and I'm all set.
Other news-worthy news that could put a damper on this weekend's escapade: SWINE FLU IS TAKING OVER BOWDOIN. Apparently we were featured in the Boston Globe for our campus-wide epidemic. What a great reputation! Omg Bowdoin is such a great school--a wonderful place where the entire student body swaps fluids and forgets to cover their coughs on a regular basis. Or better yet: come get a great education AND get quarantined for a sometimes fatal illness named after an animal that many cultures won't eat. Sounds awesome to me. Personally, I want to get quarantined. I would love nothing more than to be forced to stay in a room by myself all day, where all I'm allowed to do is sleep, watch movies, wear a mask, and never leave (at least until I'm no longer hot. Guess I'll never be leaving. chaching). I also heard that they are feeding quarantine kids lobster dinners. I don't even like lobster, but I would fully soak in the sympathy by contemplating eating it for five minutes or so. I could give it to one of my other swine flu friends as a token of my appreciation for a fellow mask-wearing piggy buddy. I think that's what they should call the quarantine kids now: piggy buddies. I can't wait to be a piggy buddy, as long as it's not this weekend or 3 weekends from now. Perhaps I will pencil swine flu in for the first weekend in november? Then I'll get out of my orchestra dress rehearsal. Perfect. Well I'll go get on that; these things require a bit of strategy you know. Peace
PROCRASTINATE
watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xj8RrIpiiQ
then watch (listen to) this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buAeYUBuieY
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