Imagine diving naked into a swimming pool of awesomeness

A lot has happened since break. A whole big lot. Since I'm usually really lazy and make lists instead of being all elaborate and eloquent, I think I'll just keep up my rep.

1. Michelle and I made friendship bracelets while watching Free Willy. We may or may not be a couple of 13 year old girls. Also, what would you do if you saw a whale in the forest? It's ok if you don't have an answer because I certainly have no idea. I mean, I would want to save it and maybe try to save it, but let's be honest, I don't think I would help, at all. Then I'd probably cry. Everyone loses--I lose, Keiko loses, the forest loses. That's a lot of blubber.

2. I smacked down a 15k skate race

2.5. I almost died. Context: we stayed at this sketch motel in Lake Placid. Grace and I roomed together in this sketch room. There was this "dung" noise that would periodically sound in our room's wall. We inquired as to whether the boys next door were just playing a one pitched string instrument of some sort, but to no avail. Then, on the tv, channel 19, let me paint this scenario for you: there was a thermometer on the left side of the screen and a heartrate monitor/EKG type machine on the right side of the screen. On top of the monitor were toys (cars, dogs, etc.) and something that looked like a barrel of a gun. This creepy little scenario was on channel 19 constantly. Always. One night, when the creepyness got a little out of hand (the "dung" got louder and started moving around the room) we realized that the barrel of the gun on channel 19 was pointed toward the wall above Grace's bed. And what did we find in that spot? A piece of duct tape, the color of the wallpaper, covering some sort of defaced part of the wall. CREEPY. We then decided that someone was trying to kill us.

3. Chris, Dan, and I made a snowman in front of a dining hall window with a 3ft long penis.

4. January 24, 2010 was the best day of my life. We had the best OD ski ever, with the best snow ever (especially now that a monsoon is passing through Brunswick...). I gave Walter Shepard, the biggest baller in my life, the biggest hug ever. Tim slapped my ass. We did flips into beautiful powder. There was chicken parmesan for dinner. Win.

5. The girl's team did a strip tease for the Bates boys. They loved it.

6. I had to profess my love to Tim in front of the whole team....and every other team on the EISA circuit due to a lost pepper bet. This is how I did it:

To the greatest coach in the whole EISA circuit,
I love it when you make that fine ass work it,
when you're rocking out to Tik Tok, or singing with Jay-Z.
The way you sip that gallon jug just drives me crazy.
I know that Carnie Crush is not for coaches and the like,
but I made an exception...and I wish I had a mic,
because I want my feelings to resound loud and true--
OMG TIM IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

He loved it.

7. Chris Plys.

8. The Americans are KILLING it at the Olympics. Also, I'm pretty sure that if I dyed my hair red, I'd look exactly like Shaun White. Also, I'm pretty sure that his second run made me jizz in my pants. Kinda like when I found the video of Chris Plys making his guitar gently weep for MTV. Can you say O face?

9. Sunday funday is happening this weekend. You all know what that means. Why yes, it does mean that the Middlebury Carnival got postponed one day, but more importantly, I will be crunk Sunday night. It could have been Saturday night, but orgo will surely be tons more fun with a huge headache (...not).

10. Oliver Burruss believes that the entire Bowdoin ski team is the spawn of Nathan Alsobrook.

That's all I can think of for interesting happenings about for the past 2 months or so. Don't worry, if I remember anything else, it'll fo shiz be up pronto/ASAP/AQAP, because my work load is, dare I say it, not so bad. Plus I need to keep Michelle up on my life since we haven't skyped in probably 3 days.

damn you caffeine

There have been complaints about the scarcity of updates, which is such a good thing. People love us, Michelle! They really love us. I blame this lack of blogging on the black hole of torture that was this past semester. Thankfully, grades are in, I did satisfactorally (def just made up that word--call the patent lawyers), so the semester is completely and oh so officially in my past; therefore, I have no excuses to not blog. Also, I had my first entire cup of coffee for a long long time about 2 hours ago, so I'm wired and ready to ramble. Sad story is that I desperately needed that cup of coffee to stay awake for the entire Avatar movie, which was 3 hours long and started at 9:40pm--or I thought I needed it. My heartrate was so high the entire time that I might as well have been doing a workout (secret training, bitches). So I had no problem staying awake, and the only thing the coffee did for me was make me have to go pee every 30 min. I felt like such an old woman, which sucked because the movie was just so fantastic, amazing, extraordinary, mind blowing, and every other synonym for awesome, and I just didn't want to miss a second. Never again will I sneak coffee into a movie theater, no matter how ingenious my sneakery might be.

Did I mention how incredible avatar is? I'm pretty sure I hate humans and earth and money now. Too bad I actually don't hate humans and earth and money. I felt like such a loser driving my gas guzzling yuk home from the movie theater, listening to Ke$ha sing about P. Diddy and pedicures and being crunk, all of which are things I love (well, I only love P. Diddy a lil bit). Maybe someday, probs in 2012, I'll get swept off to another planet that looks as though a giant black light is hanging out in the atmosphere by a buff, sexy, blue alien. Hopefully these aliens won't have such long hair, because lbh that hair was a bit creepy. We can live happily ever after without global warming or politics, and maybe I'll be smart like Sigourney Weaver because of my Bowdoin degree and I can learn about trees and such (and those crazy bugs that spin around. Who thought of all those weird animals anyway? I really really seriously want to meet that person because he/she must have the biggest baller imagination ever). Too bad this whole runaway to another sweet ass planet won't actually happen. Depressing. Let's discuss something that is actually logical, plausible, and completely realistic...like how fabulous the bag burger I ate yesterday was. It was even great when it sat like a brick in my stomach while I ripped up a 5k classic race. Needless to say, I've learned from all these pre-season races what NOT to do before my actual races.

Also plausible and realistic: Jason Bourne. I watched Bourne Ultimatum last night. Another awesome movie, and not just because Matt Damon is a hottie with a naughty body. It's also the violence and the car chases and the violence that makes this movie awesome. I also like that Matt Damon hardly talks in this movie. I find these stunning men even more stunning when they don't say anything. Maybe it's just because I'm so antisocial, I just like to sit and stare at my men. No talking. It's annoying. Ok, so I'm not that antisocial, but I do love that he busts chaps all over in silence. Violence is the answer, you know, silent violence. But don't tell my alien boyfriend that, or that I'm cheating on him with Matt Damon. He might just send his fire bird after me. Kinda like the phoenix in Harry Potter. So many movie references with so many hotties (yes I was in love with Daniel Radcliffe in like 6th grade), it's just so overwhelming. While I'm at it, let me just throw out Star Trek: Chris Pine is oh so fine.


And with that, I'm off to bed. If the caffeine will allow me... PEACE

PS Alabama won the BCS. awesome.

SuckyShittyEWW

This is such a shitty week. First of all, Maine people effing suck. For realz, people can marry whoever they want. Don't people realize the gender divide they are making? This is a huge political step back. Look at feminism and women's rights--it's no different really. People, you are actually discriminating against genitalia, because honestly, there is no other difference between heterosexual couples and homosexual couples. Love is love.

For less drastic shittyness...the Yankees won the World Series. Can you say lame? They've won, what, 28 world series now? yeah, lame. Don't worry Phillies, there's always next year. Let's pwn those yanks sorry asses. Also, school pretty much sucks right now. I just got a 68 on my orgo exam. What I'm actually angry about though is that the average was a 72, and there was NO SCALE! wtf. It was probably the hardest test I've ever taken. It was suppose to be an hour exam. Yeah, definitely took me 3 hrs to do and 75% of the class was still taking it when I left. Exam fail. And some dbag got a 98. All I have to say to you, Mr/Mrs Annonymous Crazy Person is get a life. Jeff informed me last night that there is actually a word for people like this in France--geteliffe, which translates into loser. I bet they voted yes on 1.

Alright sorry to the person who got a 98. I didn't mean to go so irritable on you. It's just been one of those weeks. On the brighter side, it snowed today! That made everything seem ok, because that means it's almost ski season. That means no more rollerskiing, lots and lots of bag burgers, Canada, Christmas, and the seasonal pilgrimages to my sacred home--SUGARLOAF. Oh the spiritual liberation from this abyss of work work work, stress, work, freakout, overexhaustion. And the light at the end of the tunnel appears. Thank the Lord.


Let's just look at the gloriousness

Once upon a time, there was a lovely city called Huntsville. Shit goes down there

Now that my midterms are over, I can give you all (nate) the LD on the past 22 days. 22 days sounds like not a lot, but let me tell you, whoa boy, a shit ton happened. a. shit. ton. To make this story really interesting and minimally mentally stimulating (much needed, fo sho), let's make this post a reverse chronological order picture book!

Phillies are in the world series! Again! also, Matt Stairs, an oh so important pinch hitter is my neighbor. nbd
I probably failed my organic chemistry mid term because I did not read this book



I got 32 on my music assignment. 32 out of 100.


I started my bfflz relationship with my new assistant coach, Timtim on a little island better known as Vinal Haven. Less known as little island


Michelle and I became astronauts. Nasa for the win bitches!



Elizabeth got married and we got crunk.

WE LOVE HUNTSVILLE!

must. learn. hoedown. throwdown.

OMG nightmare

Why do odwalla's have so many calories in them? I mean, if I want a smoothie-like drink that is healthy and isn't actually a smoothie, then there had better be some lacking in the calorie department to make up for imposterism. Talk about annoying.

What is also annoying is the week before fall break. And by annoying I mean torture, like jabbing bamboo in your fingernail beds and twisting it over and over and over while simultaneously shining super bright lights in both your eyes kind of torture. My stress level is skyrocketing and it's starting to really negatively affect my sleeping patterns, aka I'm having horrible nightmares. Last night, I had this dream where my friend Erin and I were staying at my camp alone. We were both in my twin bed discussing how much boys suck and how we are going to find wonderful, charming young men when we go abroad. Sometime during this discussion, I fall out of my bed, because it is after all not really suited for two people (unless the two people are me and Michelle. We totally own that twinage). Well, once I hit the floor, I noticed an arm sticking out from under my bed. Instead of having a complete freak out like I would in real life, I became all concerned. I drug out the large, 20ish year old guy that looks like this ginger that I see around campus, and I kept asking him "omg are you ok?" He just looked at me all dazed and confused and didn't say anything, but I kept asking if he was ok. Then as this one sided discussion continued, I looked over on the other side of my bed (which is nonexistent in real life btdubz...there's a wall there) and I saw a cloaked figure sitting in a chair with two green glowing eyes peering out from under the hood. Clearly the scary figure planted this dazed young man under my bed so he could stealthily position himself on the chair without me noticing...even though Erin would probably notice...oh well. Anyway, the cloaked figure stood up and took his hood off, revealing his big-bad-wolf self. Doesn't sound scary, but oh it is. It really is. He then took this young man's head and ripped it off with his teeth. Of course, he was of larger stature so the head didn't come off right away: there was a slow, gradual breaking of skin and veins and esophagus and trachea. Graphic, I know, but after all the autopsies this summer, I obvs wasn't that fazed. After discarding the body on my floor, the wolf was going to eat us next, after spitting out a tooth that came out after the head ripping. I was excited because I assumed he wouldn't eat us after loosing a tooth, I mean that hurts like a mofo, but no, he was still going to eat us. I think I asked him that too...So Erin took an empty glass handle--where it came from? I don't know--and smashed out the rest of his teeth. Of course that didn't stop him, he was still coming after us to rip our heads up too! So I took handle #2 and bashed out his head...except for his mouth, because his broken toothed mouth was still coming after us to eat us. At this point I figured I had time to run to the kitchen to grab a knife and stab him in the heart, assuming that this wasn't one of those special dream monsters that doesn't die normal deaths. Then I woke up in a freak out moment, like I always do after nightmares, realized it wasn't real, then also realized that as soon as I went back to bed I'd just go back to Mr. Wolf. Annoyed, I wiped my face on my pillow, almost dislodging my nose-ring, which hurt like a mofo--like losing a tooth then eating humans. So I decided to just go back to bed. This time I dreamed about pirate things. Not too shabby I'd say. Pirates are sweet.

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