Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sex toys and mexico.


So I felt bad about leaving such a depressing update last night. I've come up with a solution to my sleeping around problem. I've come to the conclusion that I will buy a vibrator. That way, I can just pretend I'm sleeping around. But I won't be a slut and get aids. This is the one I'm probably going to buy.
It's called "Butterfly kiss" and the tagline is, "Flutter your way to pleasure with this sweet little butterfly." which makes me laugh hysterically. So
me of these things are fucking expensive too. This one is the Lelo Golden Vibrator will run you up $1500.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS!??! ONE THOUSAND. FIVE HUNDRED. DOLLARS. Kind of ridiculous if you ask me. And the weird shit that I found when I was on these sites was amazing. Like this one. I used to have a belly button ring with this shit on it, and when it caught on your skin that shit was painful. cant even imagine this on a vagina. ouch.
Then there were some that didn't even make sense and creeped me the fuck out. maybe someone who has a fetish for the 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean?? Someone who thought the Kraken was super hott?
And here. is the piéce de résistance. This beauty is called, "The Accommodator." Brilliant, no? As a woman though, i'm pretty sure i wouldnt enjoy this. It's honestly creepy as hell.
Okay. enough with the dildos. At this current moment I'm listening to tapes (yep. tapes.) to learn spanish. they were made in the 80s and are all, "where is the taxi station?" which will be extremely helpful when I go to Mexico in 2 days. I haven't packed and I'm not really excited because I don't really know anyone else that's going. I dont even know what i'll be doing down there. the whole trip is really disorganized and just. blah. I'll probably just turn these shitty tapes off and watch Bones and maybe nap. Read Jane Austen for the 20934857th time. I love feeling like a lazy shit on vaca. makes me happy. Love you mare. love you aliza. love you natie.... i think i got everyone who reads this.... hahahah oh god.

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