Life is too short to be spent dress shopping

I had a sans internet and excitement weekend, but a blog post is pretty overdue. A couple terrible things did happen. Saturday I did this extremely difficult workout that I've been dreading for months (ok it wasn't that difficult but still...) So I took my poles and my waterbottle belt and placed them under a bush at the top of this butt-kicking hill in an upperclass neighborhood in the middle of nowhere, as to prevent stealage. well, that obviously didn't work, because when I returned from warming up, everything was GONE. After a mild meltdown, I proceeded to do my workout without poles and water, so it was that much more terrible. I had to pretend I had poles, so I looked like a complete idiot. Humiliation: the cherry on top of a "people are bitches" sundae. So if any readers (even though Nate is the only one) took my shit, give it back, or I'll sick Cody on you. Or if you see any strangers sporting some ski poles from the 80s and a beautiful, red Solomon waterbottle holder that resembles a fannypack, come to my house, take cody, and sick him on that bastard.
The only other terrible thing is that my mattress at my camp is so effing hard, hard as a.....ok I won't finish that simile. use your imagination. So it takes me forever to fall sleep on it, compounded with my incessant fear of the ghosts that live upstairs. Seriously paranoia, get out of my LIFE. And when I do sleep, I dream about dress shopping. NIGHTMARE. This crazy dress shopping is finally getting under my skin. Why? WHY? why can't a non white, non black, cocktail, short yet leg-spreadable, clavacle region displaying dress just fall out of the sky and hang itself up in my closet, because lord knows I won't hang it up. This is just too complicated. Honestly, this is so much harder than college shopping and cello shopping combined. ok maybe not cello shopping, but still. I would really appreciate a personal assistant or a stacey-clinton-like-duo to just go find one for me. Life is too short to be spent dress shopping. ug. ok, I'm going to online shop since there is nothing better to do at work. kbye